My Decision
by montez
Summary: Emily's thought's behind her decision in admitting she was the FBI Agent during the episode 'Minimal Loss'. Emily's POV.


My Decision  
By: Montez  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to Criminal Minds, just totally love the show and characters.

_A/N: This came to mind as I watched the episode, Minimal Loss. The seemingly shocked look on Reid's face when Emily spoke up, then that moment of eye contact they had as Cyrus pulled her from the room, this is my play on why Emily admitted to being the agent instead of allowing Reid to. Hope you enjoy--Montez_

"Which one of you is it?" Benjamin Cyrus's voice had a dangerous edge to it as he walked into the small basement room Reid and I were sitting in.

We had arrived that morning with a Child Services employee to interview the young girls of the small religious groups compound, unknown to us the Attorney General of Colorado had decided it was a good idea to execute a raid to serve an illegal arms possession warrant while we were there interviewing the children. When the armed men from the group came into the school, Cyrus leading the way, wanting to know if we knew about it, he seemed just as surprised as we did that we didn't know.

Along with the women and children we had been ushered into the basement bunker as shots were being fired from somewhere above. Reid, Nancy and I tried to stay together, Nancy being the only other person who knew we were FBI and not Child Service, we weren't worried about her telling, but as Reid and I made eye contact we were both worried how this was going to play out, especially if it did get out that we were Federal Agents.

As the shooting continued, Nancy pushed her way through the group, saying something about being able to talk with the police officers who were currently in a fire-fight with members of the sect. A few minutes later Cyrus came down, without Nancy, when I asked him where she was he said it wasn't them. For a moment I actually thought I saw sympathy cross the man's face as I knew it meant that Nancy was dead. Reid and I backed up to absorb the information as Cyrus again left the bunker, a few minutes later silence again settled over the compound.

We both knew there was a good chance the BAU was going to be called in to start negotiations, so we started to silently formulate how we would be able to possible help from the inside without being found out. Over the course a few hours the woman and children had been allowed to move back upstairs, but we were told to remain in the bunker, neither of us sure if it was for our safety, maybe Cyrus not wanting another government official caught in the cross-fire he inevitably knew would be blamed on them, or if it was to just keep an eye on us. Either way Reid and I remained in the basement, a lone guarded standing armed outside the door.

Everything seemed calm and we only could hope that our team had arrived outside and that talks were being established. So when the middle-aged leader of the sect calmly walked into the room saying "Which one of you is it?" the hard edge of his voice the only give away to just how dangerous this man could be my insides froze.

Fixing our best confused looks on our faces we watched the sect leader calmly turn and face us. "Which one of you is the FBI Agent?" Cyrus spoke again, this time I say a hint of fear flash in Reid's eyes as I tried desperately to control my own reaction. I watched as Cyrus unbuttoned his over shirt the rest of the way, revealing the handgun in his waist band, his hand going to the handle as he purposely pulled it from its place.

Reid's quiet voice surprised me, "What makes you think we are FBI?" Anyone else would have bought the confusion in the younger man's voice; I however, heard the fear.

Cyrus looked at me then back at Reid, "God will forgive me for what I must do." The man's icy voice almost echoed in the room as I saw him raise the weapon and point it right at Reid's head.

In that instant my mind flashed back to another time I had seen a suspect point a gun at the young man across from me. I had only been with the team a few months when Spencer had been kidnapped and tortured by Tobias Henkel. It had been via video feed linked to the suspect's home computers that I, along with the rest of the team watched as the young genius was beaten. Then we watched helplessly as he had to stare down the barrel of a gun as one of Tobias's personalities demanded that Reid give up one of his team members to die. I had watched as the young man first offered himself to die, when the suspect wouldn't except that I then watched as Reid faced the twisted game of Russian Roulette when he continuously refused to name a team member, each time Tobias would pull the trigger, each time the hammer landing on an empty chamber. Only on the fourth try did Reid mention a name 'Aaron Hotchner', upon mentioning Hotch's name Tobias raised the gun and fire over Reid's head, this time the chamber had not been empty as the report of the gunshot echoed through the computer speakers. Once the shock wore off we realized it was his way of sending a clue to the older agent, a clue only Hotch would have picked up on, it was that clue that lead us to Spencer.

Just as quickly as that memory had entered my mind, it disappeared again as I refocused on the man across from me. The man who had been through so much in the short time I had known him and here he was again, facing down the barrel of a gun pointed at his head by a madman. And what was amazing me again, as it had amazed me all those months ago watching over the computer screen, Reid never seemed to flinch, aside from the initial look of fear that flashed in his eyes, now his eyes were set with the same determination I had seen back then. It was a determination that if this was to be his fate he was going to accept it without showing fear.

However, it was fear I felt, no, not fear, absolute terror at watching my friend face down a gun again. In that fraction of a second I knew what I had to do, I knew I couldn't sit there and watch my friend die. But I will never forget that look of absolute fear that flashed in Reid's face as my voice spoke up and his eye's locked with mine, "It's me, I'm the FBI agent."

As I felt Cyrus grab the back of my head, his fist pulling my hair as he drug me from my seat I made sure that when Spencer's eye's met mine before I was drug into the back room that he knew he needed to let this play out, that he needed to keep his cover from being blown, he was our best chance of getting out of this alive. As I was thrown to the floor I prayed I had read Cyrus right, that he wouldn't kill me, only make an example of me. If I had allowed Reid to admit to being the agent I was sure I would have watched my friend be killed in front of me, but as the first kick landed I knew I could survive whatever beating this man was going to dish out, I knew my team was close and would be working feverously to resolve this, but most of all I knew I had kept Spencer from being killed in front of me and no matter what happened to me it would be worth it.

_A/N: How was it? I just couldn't get this out of my mind, it's hard for me to write POV, but I hoped I was able to capture Emily accurately. Thanks for reading!--Montez_


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